Are you looking for a symbol of your D/s relationship? Perhaps you’ve fantasised about snapping a collar around a play partner's neck, or maybe you just need to add the right collar to your kink toy collection. There are many types of BDSM collars available to help you explore your dominant or submissive side in style. We’ll go through each type of collar and explain why they work well for different people.
What are collars used for in BDSM scenes?
Many people who practice BDSM use collars. They are usually made of leather and fasten with a buckle, but some are constructed from other materials such as latex, PVC, metal, or fabric. Some collars are secured with a lock, so that they can't be removed easily.
A collar is generally worn by the submissive or bottom as a means of physical restraint, an accessory to roleplay, or a symbol of submission.
Types of collars
There are several different kinds of BDSM collars. Each is designed for a specific purpose, and may look very different to another depending on the use and the preferences of the people involved. Here's a quick run-down of the most common types of collars used in BDSM scenes.
Play collar (for kink scenes and bondage play)
A play collar is used only for play during kink or BDSM scenes. You might use a leather collar with O-rings when doing a bondage scene with a partner. You may have a dog collar you use just for pet play, or a pretty fabric collar for your submissive play partner when you're having kinky sex. However you use it, once the session is over, the play collar goes back on the shelf for the next person or session.
Play collars are available in many different shapes and sizes, from training or posture collars that force the submissive to sit or stand in a particular position, to simple collars with D-rings that allow for quick and easy bondage. The collar you choose will depend on the kind of kinky play you're most interested in.
Submissive collar (for power exchange)
A submissive collar has a little more psychological significance than a simple play collar. Although it may look very similar, a submissive collar is placed on your sub or bottom to enhance D/s play and help them feel more subservient. Submissive collars might be used for single play sessions (similar to the play collar, above) or a collar might be assigned to one specific person with whom you have a D/s relationship. If it's the latter, wearing the collar helps signal that a scene or kink session is beginning, and taking it off helps signify that the session is over.
Ownership collar (for ongoing D/s relationships)
Taking things to the next level, an ownership collar is used to signify a long-term, committed D/s relationship. These collars may be more expensive than a play collar, and may be personalised and fitted to a specific submissive's measurements. They're designed to be worn at all times during play, or sometimes at all times when you and your partner are together, if you practice your dominant and submissive roles as part of your everyday relationship.
An ownership collar signifies an agreement of 'ownership' in a BDSM context – both people have agreed to take on these roles. The first use of such a collar (sometimes in a ceremony called 'collaring') can have deep symbolic meaning. Ownership collars are always bought or made for a specific sub, and can't be worn by others. It's usually discarded if the relationship ends.
Day collar (for kinky D/s couples)
If you're in a Dominant/submissive relationship and are 'in role' at all times – what's sometimes called '24/7' – your submissive might agree to wear a collar at all times to signify your control over them. Since this can be awkward in public, many people opt to wear day collars.
Day collars are items of jewellery that don't stand out to the casual observer. They may take the form of a choker or necklace, or even a ring. The day collar is ideal for those who wish to be reminded of their submission without having to answer any awkward questions from friends, family members, or workmates.
How to choose the right type of BDSM collar
When you need a collar, it's essential to choose something that fits your needs and is safe to use. Choosing the right collar involves asking yourself a few questions: why do I need this? Who will be wearing it? How often will we use it? Here are the essentials you'll need to consider before you purchase a collar.
Understand what you're using the collar for
The type of collar you need depends entirely on the kind of play you're planning. As we discussed above, you may be looking for a play collar, a more elaborate submissive collar, or a discreet day collar. Specific retailers cater to each of these kinds of items, so make sure you know what you're looking for before you begin your search!
There are also practical considerations. A collar for short-term use may be easier to find, whereas something your submissive will wear for hours (or days) will need to be properly fitted, so that it doesn't become uncomfortable.
Choose a quality collar
Many beginner kinksters are daunted by the sheer expense of good BDSM equipment. A leather collar can be a big investment! Sometimes they decide to opt for a cheaper option. For the sake of safety and comfort, we always recommend buying your collar from a reputable craftsperson. A cheap collar might break easily or have sharper edges that will injure your play partner. On the other hand, a well-known BDSM supplier will generally only sell items that feel good and are safe to use in the long term. When it comes to your sub's safety and enjoyment, it's best not to cut corners.
Get measurements before ordering your submissive's collar
Don't rush out and buy the first thing you see! Always measure your submissive's neck to make sure the collar is sized correctly. A collar that is too tight can cause breathing and circulation difficulties, which can be very dangerous. A collar that is too loose can also be dangerous, because it may move around during play, slip or get caught on other kink equipment.
The right collar should fit snugly, with enough room for one or two fingers to be slipped underneath. By taking measurements first, you can ensure the correct fit.
Ask your submissive what they like BEFORE buying a collar
It's not always about buying something that looks pretty, how a collar feels is just as important. Since your sub will be wearing it a lot, their thoughts are important here too. It's great to ask them what kinds of material and widths feel good for them.
Where to buy collars
There are a range of places you might look for collars – online, in fetish stores, and from local craftspeople – but they're not created equal. Here are some places you might shop, with pros and cons for each.
Online shopping
With a huge range of options, online vendors are often the first choice for kinky folks looking for collars. A quick internet search will turn up a range of online stores, many of which ship internationally. This can be a great way to see all the options, and to find something that's specifically suited to your needs.
One thing to watch out for: not all online stores provide high-quality items. If something is cheap, it may be because it's poorly made or uses substandard materials. This may not matter if your collar is purely decorative, but collars used for bondage or long-term wear should be safe and durable, so it's best to avoid discount stores and only purchase from reputable suppliers.
Fetish and BDSM stores
If you're located in a large city or town, you may be lucky enough to have one or more specialty BDSM stores within travelling distance. A good BDSM supplier will carry a range of collars and other kink equipment, usually of high quality. You'll also have the chance to try collars out on yourself or your submissive to ensure you purchase something that's comfortable and safe. The salesperson may be able to assist and their advice and experience can be invaluable if you're new to kink.
Craftspeople who specialise in BDSM equipment
Aside from stores, there are also other ways to find the perfect collar. There are many skilled craftspeople around the world who produce beautiful BDSM equipment. You may come across some of these talented folks at kink fares or events or find them in online marketplaces such as Etsy. Be sure to choose someone reputable, whose work uses high-quality materials. Check the reviews and see what past customer have said.
It's time to find your perfect collar!
The right collar can enhance your kinky play sessions, help your submissive get into the right headspace, or even signify a long-term, committed D/s relationship. Knowing the collar's purpose before you buy will help you select something that works for everyone – but don't forget to ensure you select something high-quality that will last!
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