Findom is one of the largest-growing kink subcultures - especially online, where submissives lavish gifts and cash on their professional mistresses.
If you fantasise about being a paypig, our quick introduction will help you to get started. Read on to find out what findom is, how to find the right Dominant, and how to be a good little paypig. Oink oink!
Paypig 101: What is findom?
Financial domination – findom for short – is a fetish that falls under the umbrella of BDSM. Specifically, it's a kind of domination/submission dynamic where the submissive gives gifts and/or money to their Dominant. The submissive, who may pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars, is often referred to as a 'paypig'.
Findom has received more and more attention in recent years, due to a surge in popularity and a growing number of professional Dominants who offer this service, both in person and online. Findom sessions might be conducted in a traditional dungeon, at the client's home, or via the Internet, and might never involve sex at all. This flexibility means it's the perfect kink for fetish workers who provide online services.
Financial domination may have evolved from a kink dynamic known as 'micromanagement', where a Dominant controls every aspect of their sub's daily life: when they sleep, what they eat, what they wear, and countless other details.
More recently, his kind of play has evolved to focus on the giving (or taking) of gifts or cash. A paypig may enjoy showering their Dominant with expensive lingerie, clothing, or shoes. They may cover expenses such as rent, bills, or vacations. Some scenes may involve the Dominant physically taking money from their sub while they're restrained, or taking their credit card on a shopping spree.
Financial domination sometimes involves elements of humiliation and degradation, with submissives being 'forced' to give up their money under the spell of their attraction to powerful, assertive Dominant.
How do I know if this is my kink?
How do you know if you're a paypig? It's a very personal question, and one only you can answer. You might want to consider the kinds of fantasies you have. Do you love the idea of spoiling a gorgeous, high-maintenance Dominant? Have you experimented with humiliation in a BDSM context, and enjoyed being told you're only good for your money?
Think about the specific scenarios that turn you on, and how you might negotiate with a partner to get them happening in real life.
Is being a paypig safe? And is findom ethical?
As with all BDSM, how safe and ethical your kink is really depends on how you practice it, who you choose to play with, and how well you communicate with your dominant.
Although some people think that findom is just about taking money from willing submissives, there's a lot more to it. It must be consensual – usually, the maximum amounts shared are agreed to in advance. But as long as everyone's boundaries are being respected, spending money on a financial Dominant is really no different to spending it in other ways that bring you pleasure, such as buying gifts for a partner or treating yourself to an expensive meal.
How to get started as a paypig
If you've been thinking about finding a dominant but aren't sure which way to go, here are some tips! We explain how to find a local Dominant, how to choose between an in-person session and an online session, and how to make sure you have an enjoyable experience.
Setting your boundaries
The first step towards becoming a paypig is setting your own limits. If you're not comfortable with any of the activities discussed above, don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to. Like all BDSM, a findom scene must be negotiated beforehand.
A few useful questions:
- How much money are you willing to spend? It's essential to be realistic about the amount of money you can part with - it's no use having a great session if you're left bankrupt and can't return for a second session!
- What kind of humiliation and degradation turns you on? If you enjoy humiliation, which words feel right for you, and is anything off limits?
Finding the right Findom
You'll also need to decide whether you'd like to find a kink partner in the community, or see a professional dominant.
- Someone you date or someone from your kink community - it could be fun to explore your paypig fetish with a partner, a kinky friend or someone you already know from a local kink community. Having a pre-existing relationship sometimes means it's easier to establish trust and communicate clearly. Both of these are essential for a good kink experience. With some trial and error, you should be able to discover the kind of findom play that works for both of you.
- Professional dominant - of course you may not have access to the above option, or perhaps you're looking for someone with specialised experience. A professional Dominant who specialises in financial domination will help you learn the ropes if you're new to this kink, and might more easily be able to provide the kind of experience you've been fantasising about.
- Online dominant - if there aren't many BDSM professionals in your town or city, you may prefer to interact with someone online. Finding someone with expertise is a must, as is setting good boundaries. But talking on the phone, webcamming, swapping texts or communicating via email can also allow you to experiment with findom.
If you decide to find a professional, do your research thoroughly. As will all kinds of kink, you want to work with someone experienced and trustworthy, with a history in the industry. Following workers on social media and checking kink forums might give you more information about the professional you're considering, so you can make an informed choice.
Are you ready, paypig?
If you suspect that, deep down, you're a paypig, the exploding popularity of financial domination means that there are many ways to explore this exciting sub-category of domination. If you know your limits, play with someone you trust, and communicate your boundaries clearly, you may find yourself funding your Dominant's next shopping spree, or lying at their feet while they rifle through your wallet. Enjoy, piggy!